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End of WA Tour - March 4, 2008
Hello Everyone,
It’s the end of my tour of Western Australia which started on the 5th of February in Perth. It has been another amazing if slightly draining tour. As one woman said to me at the last show “Danny, you’re looking tired.” We have covered another three and half thousand miles by car, and god knows how much by air to visit as far north as Karratha, as far East as Alice Springs and as far south as Esperance. The tour has taken us from the hedonistic nightlife of Kalgoorlie to the gentle rolling vineyards of Margaret River. (From Skimpys to wrinklies). There are places I would have liked to have stayed longer and places were one night was too long, but everywhere I went I got some truly fantastic audiences, so thank you.
Once again, I have been left quite breathless by some of the scenery this country has to offer, a country I can’t quite call my own, but it’s certainly my favourite foster mum. Yes, there were a few mishaps along the way. In Port Hedland we made the mistake of hiring a 4 wheel drive at the airport in anticipation of doing a bit of mad off-roading, but we were so tired we only really used it to get to the hotel and back. When we returned it to the rental office with only 15km on the clock, the guy looked at us like we were the biggest wimps in history. In Kalgoorlie, I went on a brothel tour, which I made the mistake of thinking was a tour of an old historic brothel, rather than a current one. That wasn’t ideal. I know you all want to know more about this, but why ruin what is almost certain to become a bit of material?
In my final show of the tour last Thursday I was in a small, boutique theatre in Albany. It was easily the toughest gig of the tour. The theatre was quite small and had no air-conditioning. As the room got more and more humid, I felt the audience starting to mentally drift away, but to their credit no one had dared to get up by the one hour mark. Then a ‘Rosa Parks’ moment, when one woman right in the middle of the theatre defiantly rose to her feet and made her way to the exit. It was a very tense moment. If I didn’t handle this sensitively, it could be the start of a mass exodus. But, in one of the most remarkable moments I’ve ever had on stage, the woman calmly walked up the front of the stage, and said to me “I’m really sorry Danny, but it’s just too hot. You look tired, you should go to bed.” There’s really no reply to that. She was polite, she was honest, and most important of all, she was totally right. I did a bit more, and finished the show on more of a poignant than funny moment. I commended the audience for their patience, in the same way you commend a child for being good in church, and that was that. I had so looked forward to the end of this tour, but truth be told, it was all a little emotional. I sat backstage for some time afterwards, listening to the theatre slowly empty while twiddling with my lapel mic in front of the brightly lit dressing room mirrors. That woman was right, I was looking tired.
I’m over in Melbourne now, where I’m planning to spend a couple of weeks catching up with a few friends (well, one friend). After that, I will be heading home to the UK to start work on the Edinburgh show, I’ve got quite an exciting beginning to the show planned, but it will depend entirely on the logistics of the venue. It doesn’t look like I’m doing shows in South Africa in April anymore, apparently some guy called Chris Rock, has decided to do some shows around the same time, and the promoter doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have us both. (Too similar, I guess!) So it looks like I’ve got the next few months back home in Edinburgh, which is probably not a bad thing. I’ve got a horrible feeling my residents parking permit in Edinburgh has expired which means my car will almost certainly be rusting away in a car pound in Leith. It should be spring when I get back, which is my favourite time of year. I can’t wait to take that first walk down my street, and breathe in the almost menthol air of freshly cut grass, while gazing jealously at the first signs of regrowth on the giant willows that protect the posher gardens at the far end. J K Rowling lives on my street; did I ever tell you that? I thought it might be quite funny one day to dress up as Gandalf and just stand in her front garden, I don’t know why?
I have a few exciting things on the cards this year such as a run in Canada and a UK and Ireland tour (including the Mecca that is The Edinburgh Fringe.) In addition, I have begun writing a book, well more of a diary really. I started it at the beginning of this tour, and surprised myself at the fact it’s still going. I’m planning to keep it for the next 6 months to provide people with an amusing and hopefully interesting insight into the life of a stand up comedian. Later in the year, I will take it to a publishing house and see if they like it? If not, then it will be the longest blog you ever read! (Or didn’t read). Anyway, that’s really it for now. Thank you again to all of you who came out to a show in WA. I’m not planning anymore shows in Australia this year, but I’ll definitely be back in 2009. Chris Rock, or no Chris Rock.
Cheers,
Danny
