I am 3/4’s the way through my UK Tour, and currently heading back to London after a week long stint in Yorkshire. My suitcase is unmistakably lighter than it was 7 days ago, so I have a 3 hour train journey to speculate what items I may have left in various hotel rooms this week? My phone charger is a given. In fact, over the years I have left so many phone chargers in hotel rooms, that when lately I have asked at reception if I can borrow one, I’m pretty sure I’ve just got my own one back? Someone told me recently that a terrorist only ever uses a phone once then discards it. I can assure you my similar turnover of phone chargers is purely down to forgetfulness. That, and a lack of space in the old sniper bag.
It has been an interesting tour so far. I had a giant pencil thrown at my head in Glasgow, which could have been worse… it could have been Motherwell? In Wolverhampton I had my lowest audience of the tour with just 70 people turning up, 4 of whom had simply got the wrong night for another comedian? In Cheltenham, I turned up at the wrong venue, but got as far as setting up the stage and doing a soundcheck before somebody said “are you sure you’re in the right room?” I knew something was wrong, because people don’t usually shout that out this until the gig has started! And in Wakefield I got pulled into the middle of the dance floor of a wedding at my hotel for a man to throw up on my shoes (not sure if this was a Wakefield tradition? Or he’d just been at the gig?) But, other than that, it has been a largely enjoyable and successful tour. I am extremely grateful to all the people who have come along. Sometimes we have been small in number, but often these have been the best nights.
Immediately after this tour ends on the 3rd of November, I will be jetting out to New York for the election, which I am absolutely stoked about. If anyone reading this is from New York, could you suggest a good place for me to watch the election results roll in? Texas Pete’s good ole fashioned southern-style rodeo smokehouse is probably not for me? Or rather, it is for me, but probably not that night? I’m thinking some art gallery or museum with large screens, where I can sip martinis with foppish liberals in corduroys and pretend to be an intellectual? Or maybe, I will ‘do an Eastwood’ and spend the night in my hotel room on my own talking to an empty chair? Which is pretty much what I did at that gig in Wolverhampton anyway!
In the midst of this hectic tour, I’ve managed to squeeze in another taping of Live At The Apollo, which is due to air on Wednesday 14th November. I will let you know if there is any change to this? For my Swedish fans, I recorded a slot on Raw Comedy which will air on 3rd December. And this is also the date for the UK release of my brand new DVD ‘Live At The Festival Theatre’ which I am extremely excited about. In other news, I will shortly be announcing a full schedule for a tour of Australia and New Zealand next year. This will most likely be February through to May 2013, but I will send a mail out soon with all the details. Oh, and one other thing, I am taking part in a charity event at the Apollo on the 22nd November called ‘Laugh or the Polar Bear gets it!’ It was brilliant last year, and has another fantastic line up this year, so please come along if you can?