Graduation Blues

July 5, 2011

I have been on tour more or less non-stop since January this year. And last Sunday night, the curtains came down for the final time on this show. It’s been a phenomenal journey which began back in January with small afternoon try-out gigs above a bookshop in Sydney and ended at the majestic Kings Theatre in Glasgow, where, like an elephant, it came home to die (but fortunately, not actually die). Thanks so much to all of you who came along to the shows. The UK shows this month were the perfect way to end the tour. The rooms were often bigger than was necessary, but I like to give my audience plenty of room to stretch out…consider it ‘business class’ comedy, if you will? I plan to take a bit of time off now. I have no idea what I’m going to do? Or where I’m going to go? Italy? France? Maybe Finland again? Greece is out, I think. A good friend of mine told me that he read that Greece had recently sold off a 6-mile stretch of beach to the United Arab Emirates. Which begs the question, ‘how did a country that has managed to sell sand to the Arabs go bust?’ Brilliant.

To be honest, Edinburgh is as good a place as anywhere to be today. The sun is shining, and hundreds of graduating university students resplendent in their gowns are walking around flanked by their proud parents. A little bit of me wants to roll up a piece of paper, wrap a black curtain around myself and dive into the celebrations, but the last time I did that I was wrestled to the ground by airport security. I feel I am owed a second graduation though, after the disaster of my first one, which took place on a gloomy afternoon in Glasgow. I went to pick up my suit from the tailors that morning, but it wasn’t ready, so I had to decide whether or not to wear a half-finished suit with one arm and one leg longer than the other? Then, the bumbling tailor offered to loan me a suit off one of the shop mannequins, which was a slightly too big pin-striped number. I had to take it, but ended up looking like an extra from Bugsy Malone. I might as well have drawn a pencil moustache on my face and turned up with a machine gun firing custard pies! To make matters worse, I was right at the back of this huge hall, and I didn’t hear my name being called out to go up and collect my degree which led to the awful feeling that I had failed so badly, the university refused to even acknowledge me as having been a student there? In the end, I shuffled up to the podium after everyone was filing out the door, and muttered to the Dean, ‘can I have my degree please?’ And, he handed it over to me with a look that suggested he didn’t think I would ever need it… and to be fair, he wasn’t totally wrong.

My next stand up show will be in Montreal from July 18-30, so do come along if you are in the area. After that, I have no idea what I am going to do? Perhaps some further time off, it has been a very manic year after all. I am not doing a show at the Edinburgh Festival this year, but I am hoping to be around for little while during it, after all, I live here! I may end up doing a few late night spots around town unannounced. I will post these on my Twitter account, which is @officialbhoy. Other than that, I hope you all have a wonderful Summer/Winter? (delete as appropriate) Thanks again for another great tour, let’s do it all over again sometime…

LOL, (‘in joke’ for people who were at this year’s show.)


P.S. ‘Sorry!’ (Another ‘in joke’). I’ll stop now.