Live from New York City, direct from Schaumburg
February 20, 2010Hello Everybody,
Now all the excitement of the figure skating and ski jumping is out of the way, it’s time to get back to the work. I have just returned to LA after 2 weeks of gigs. If you want to know about the kind of diversity a life in comedy can bring you then consider my gigs this past weekend. On Sunday night I did a show to some 50 people in a club in a giant shopping mall in a place called Schaumburg in Illinois, then the following day, I recorded a spot on The Late Show with David Letterman in New York. It’s a funny old world in the world of funny. I have to say, it was a very strange experience standing on a stage that I’ve dreamed of being on most of my adult life, knowing that this could be my one and only chance to impress an American audience that doesn’t know me or my comedy. Letterman, on the other hand, was a piece of piss. I was on a bill with Matt Damon (I’m definitely talking about Letterman now), who I briefly passed in a corridor backstage. You will be glad to know I resisted the temptation to rugby tackle him to the ground and scream ‘you’ve got nothing Bourne!’ I actually wanted to pitch to him my idea for the next movie in the sequence, which was when Jason Bourne decides to give up being a renegade and joins his local church. It’s called the ‘Bourne Again Identity.’ Or, when Jason Bourne develops a severe case of amnesia, where he can’t even remember his own name from the previous day. It’s called ‘I wasn’t Bourne Yesterday.’ Actually, I think that was pretty much the storyline from the first 2?
I think Letterman went quite well, although I went way over my time and the show weren’t very happy with me. I think Letterman is visibly angry when he shakes my hand at the end, at least that’s what the grip suggested. I also did a couple of jokes which I wasn’t supposed to do, so it might edit down a little strange because they will have to take them out for legal reasons. Apparently, you can’t say ‘willy’ on American TV even at 11.30 at night? Bloody Puritans! the lot of them! Anyway, either way, I was on Letterman and that makes the past 7 months of sitting around in LA struggling to get gigs and feeling increasingly depressed and lonely all worthwhile. The show goes out this Friday (March 5th) on CBS at 11.30pm, so if you’re still up watch what may well be my only ever stand up appearance on American TV. ‘But, what about your Comedy Central Special, Danny?’ I hear one of you say. Well, unfortunately that has been moved again! I am beginning to think Comedy Central have taken the title of the show ‘Subject to Change’ a little too literally? I’m sorry if you set your Tivo’s to record it this saturday, but I only found out very recently, which is very frustrating because I had already sent out all the press releases for March 6th. They are now talking about a May airing, but in my short time here in the states I have learned that 90% of what anyone in the entertainment business tells you should be taken with a fucking rock of salt!
So, without a comedy central special air date, and a less active diary than Tiger Wood’s caddy, I think it might be time to admit that America has been a harder nut to crack than I could have imagined. The harsh reality is, trying to break into the American stand up market without TV exposure, is a bit like trying to break into the porn industry without taking your clothes off. It has been a frustrating 7 months, but as with all things in life, it is only a waste of time if you don’t learn anything from it, and I have definitely learned to appreciate more the career I have built in other parts of the world. The strange thing about America is that no matter how long you stay here, if you’re not from here, everything still seems a little unfamiliar to you. LA is a colossal, eccentric and beguiling place, but there is something not quite right about it? It is the coldest warm place I have ever been. I guess what I am describing is just a bit of homesickness. I will be here until the end of April, then I embark on a solo tour across Canada which I am extremely excited about. After that, I will be back in the UK to prepare for a return to the Edinburgh festival in August.
My Canadian tour dates are on sale from this friday. You can get details from my website or facebook. A few people have said they didn’t get the mail out with details of a pre-sale offer which runs until midnight tomorrow. I’m sorry about this. Basically, you can call up the venue or book on ticketmaster (select venues only) with the password ‘Scotland’ and get tickets before they go on general sale, at least that’s what I’ve been told? At what point in the conversation do you drop in the password, that’s what I want to know?
“Hello, do you have Danny Bhoy tickets available?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about? I’ve never heard of him?”
“Ahem. Scotland.”
“Certainly madam, how many tickets would you like?”
I will put up details of any other gigs in the US that come in between now and then. I am also currently putting together a mixture of gigs and previews in the UK in May-July to work up the new Edinburgh show, so I will post details of all of these when I have them confirmed.
Cheers for now,
Danny
p.s. I don’t know when Letterman airs in Australia, it’s usually a few days after. But, basically I’m on the show which airs here on Friday March 5th.
