Crazy days, but they make me smile

September 22, 2009

Hello everybody,

I know, I know. It’s been a while.

I have no excuse other than this whole .I.ve been busy starting a new life in America. thing. I have been here in LA for about 6 weeks now, and the good news is, I haven.t been sued or shot yet. You may recall that I was touring regional Victoria, Australia, back in February during the horrific bush fires that hit the region. Well, in the last few weeks fire-fighters here have also been battling massive fires up on the surrounding hills of LA. I feel like I.m doing a bloody worldwide tour of forest fires! One can only wonder which treacherous part of the world I will end up in for the next ecological disaster?

I am living in a huge gated-apartment complex in West Hollywood which seems to be full of half-naked porn stars. Lovely guys, but very awkward when the elevator gets crowded. It’s in a really great part of town; I have a cinema and a shopping centre nearby, which is all I really need. So far, I haven.t really done many gigs. There are 3 main comedy clubs here. The Comedy Store, The Laugh Factory and The Improv. I have done the Comedy Store twice, and both nights there have been more comedians than audience members. The Improv and The Laugh Factory are much better, and I seem to be making progress in both. It.s all very weird though, I really am starting all over again here. I.m taking any gig that comes my way, I.m even booked to do a Latino night tomorrow, which should be pretty interesting. I.m generally only doing 10-20 minute spots at these clubs, and anywhere else I can get the stage time, I do occasionally wake up, and wonder what the f**k I am doing?

There have been a lot of things I.ve had to adjust to, and many more things I still haven.t got my head around. I have seldom been more terrified than the first day I drove here in LA, and I only went to the supermarket and back. It seems that in this town the most expensive car legally has the right of way, which means longer waits at junctions in my responsibly small Toyota Yaris. The weather is unrelentingly nice and the people range from the unnervingly friendly to the unapologetically hostile. But what do you expect? This is LA, and there really is no place on earth quite like it. I saw a man with a dog on his back riding a bike the other day. I don.t know what I found more disturbing? That image? Or the fact that no one else seemed to bat an eyelid? In fact I mentioned this on stage the following night, and the response from an audience member was merely .what kind of dog was it?

I have seldom felt more out of place than on a recent trip to Rodeo Drive in Beverley Hills. Apparently it features in the film Pretty Woman starring Julie Roberts, but I haven.t seen this movie because I am not a gay man. There were shops I wasn.t even allowed in because I hadn.t made an appointment. Isn.t that remarkable? In times of global financial crisis, there are still places where only certain people.s money is accepted? I had no great intention of purchasing diamond shoes, but that.s not the point. It seems to me that in LA the richer the woman, the smaller the dog. I saw more than one woman in Beverley Hills carrying their small chiwawa dogs in their handbags (which I suppose is a safer place than on your back). I think this is an acceptable practice here. I noticed a small dog peaking out from a woman.s handbag at a gig I did the other night. He seemed to be enjoying himself, so I just left it.

I am going back home for a week at the end of the month, then when I return I will be getting ready for a 4-week tour across Canada in October. And after that? Who knows my friends? I am hoping some weekends out of town come up, so I can get a chance to see some different parts of America, and I am still holding out for that coveted talk show stand up spot. So there you have it, I am in a city where nobody knows me, and I don.t know anybody. I don.t have regular work and I.m driving a Toyota Yaris. But here.s the strangest part of all I.m loving every minute of it!

Have a nice day!

Cheers everyone,

Danny